To be me…

I believe in the plesiosaur dinosaur, the Loch Ness Monster. No seriously so get off my back please…….i-osarus. But most importantly, one thing you should know about me is that I have an elementary school record in p.e. for the most sit-ups in a minute. I also excelled at the standing long jump. Equally as important you should know I hate the sit-and-reach box.

I love the smell of scotch tape and sometimes stick it to my nose to enjoy the aroma at length.

If I could, I would dig a big, big whole in my backyard and fill it with water. Then I would fill it with river otters.

I sometimes dream about being a person at the zoo who gets to walk around with a small monkey on her hip and gets to tell the visitors about monkeys. But I know, I know, some dreams are too big.

I only have one dimple when I smile but I’m pretty sure there are other dimples when I’m not smiling. And those dimples don’t make me smile so at least they have something in common.

As a wife, I make a good lasagna & pot roast and I’m really glad I’m past the “getting nervous my food won’t be good stage”. I used to sit down to dinner and before anyone else could get a bite, try all the food really fast. This is both bad for a nervous stomach and table manners.

I love going to big cities, Chicago my favorite, but I would never want to raise a family in one.

Speaking of family, one of my past times is taking pregnancy tests. I have taken an estimated value of 200 dollars of tests since I have been married. I have had some false alarms, some hopes, but mostly—addiction. It’s just like a little science experiment when you watch it. I should find something cheaper to pee on. Everyone should do it at least once…men and women.

I get motion sick and so that leaves me wishing I could ride roller coasters. But that’s okay because they make movies for rent that have video cameras zooming down the rollercoaster tracks not that I ever rented one.

When I was in the third grade I wanted to be a rollercoaster designer. Then I realized as I got older that I needed to be good at Physics and it would only be a selfish choice I’d regret as I watched people fall from their roller carts.

My favorite word? Well, its rookery.

I have a memory like an elephant which is helpful at my favorite game Scattergories.

Having dry skin makes me crazy and I’m chapstick dependent. I have pulled off the interstate to buy chapstick because I just remembered I forgot mine.

If you really know me, you know I change my pillow cases constantly so I own a billion, and you know what the “chip pile” is. If you don’t know what that is, you still know me; I’m just a lot weirder than you thought I was.

I love free stuff more than you do. Cristen says I’d take a pap smear if it was free. That’s not really true, unless it was near the time for a check-up or… if it was free.

I can’t stand the awkwardness of silence so I usually just keep talking.

When I was a little kid I always thought that I’d be older than my big sister someday. This year, in my birthday card, she said I finally did it so congratulations to me.

One thing in life I’ll never understand is teaching your kid not to pick their nose. Of course I understand the manners thing but it makes more since to say, “You can only pick your nose in secret at home like mommy and daddy.”

I also don’t understand the El Camino. The inventor of that car had no friends because…hey friend…I wouldn’t let you do that.

I truly love orange tic-tacs. I major love mint nutty buddies and Hershey’s cookie and mint candy bars. They are a hard to find delicacy. If you ever find them in stores, promise you’ll send me one.

I trick-or-treated until I was 18 and I’m sure it will happen again sometime. In full costume. Even if my kids hate trick-or-treating they will go because…mommy has needs.

And, I’m a homebody and a homegirl so….pretty complicated relationship.